When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
I know the voices in my head aren’t real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I loved a girl and she broke my heart. Now every piece of my heart love different girls. People called it flirt that’s not fair…
Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. Now, you help me to save mine.
Me and my wife live happily for 25 years and then we met…
Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.
I’m poor. I can’t pay attention in class room.
When I’m good I’m best , when I’m bad I’m worst.
I’m cool but global warming made me hot.
Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh its your Attitude.
If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.
Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude.
My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!
I’m Not Special , I’m Just Limited Edition.
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
Stop checking my status ! Go get a Life!
Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm & silent.
My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
Take a Look – Cool Status
Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want.
I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast I never commented “Cute pic dear“ on girls profile picture.
Your Whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren’t you texting me
I started out with nothing and i still have most of it 🙂
I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as “Free Recharge”
I will marry the girl who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card
They say we learn from our mistakes. So I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius.
Sorry vegetarians we can’t pretend.
Waiting for Wi-Fi network.
I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status…
Tried to loose weight… But it keeps finding me.
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my car.
I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number.
Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy.
If your bad. Call me your Dad.
If I was asked what a friend looks like, I would seat next to you and hold you tight because you define what true friendship really is.
Friends are the family you choose
Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: It’s Awesome, Now Run!
Also Read – Kiss Status
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.
True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
Friends are notes to life’s great songs. A melody that carries you along.
A best friend is someone who tells you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it.
I don’t have an attitude, I have standards for the people who are supposed to be my friends.
It is better to live alone. There is no friendship with a fool.
A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second an stops the third.
A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your hear.
That awesome moment when you’re telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.
My friends are the weirdest, most craziest people I know but I love them.
World is full of smiles, whenever friends are with me.
If friendship is your weakest point then your the strongest person in the world.
Good friends are like starts. You don’t always see them but you know they’re always there.
Fake friends believe in rumors. Real friends believe in you.
Never forget who was there for you when no one else was.
Every friendship doesn’t change into love but every love begins with friendship.
A beautiful friendship can change people.
True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.
A good friend would bail you out of jail but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, damn that was cool.
A true friend is someone who never gets tried of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again.
Relation of friendship is greater then the relation of blood.
A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.
Good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, impossible to forget.
I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button
Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
I love to walk in fog, because nobody knows I’m smoking.
I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced.
Also Read – Breakup Status
Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.
I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.
Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.
I’m not virgin, my life fucks me everyday.
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Save water drink beer.
Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.
Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor.
Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch off.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? they both have an iPhone.
Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.
Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.
Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status.
Not always “Available”.. try your Luck..
Time is precious, waste it wisely.
Also Read – Romantic Status
Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
Oooooh, thats a bit too harsh. Let me put a ‘lol’ at the end of it.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Our language is called the mother tongue because the father never gets a chance to Speak.
When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
Taking revenge is wrong..very very wrong.. But very very fun.
That awesome moment, when You say something funny in class and everyone laughs at it n then you sit there like a Legend..
That feeling when you enter to a store & they play your favorite song 🙂
That Awesome Moment When You carry someone’s baby & they refuse to go back to their parent’s hands just because they like you.
The awesome feeling you get when people remember small details about you. 🙂
Its awesome .. when some one understands u more than u..! 🙂
That awesome moment, when you try to overtake a girl on scooty .and all of a sudden she decides to Race with you 😀
That Awesome Moment, When You Find A Free WiFi In Public Places.. 😀
Also Read – Relationship Status
Awesome Feeling, Being so close with someone that you insult each other all the time and never get offended. ^_^
That Amazing Moment.. When YOu DrOp YOur PhOne.. But, The HeadphOnes Save Its Life.. ^_-
That awesome moment when we bunkers get more marks !! Than attenders 😀 😉
Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
An awesome moment: when you update your status with somebody in your mind and that person like your status first.
That ‘Awesome moment’, when you see someone’s status,and you know it’s aimed at you 🙂
Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome. It just happens. They ignore you now, but they will need you later.
If you realize that you spend nice moments beside someone, that means that your heart loves that person.
I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it
Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up
Honesty is the best gift you can give.
When I joke they take it seriously. When I am serious they take it as a joke..
I like crazy people, especially those who don’t see the risk.
Best conversations always happen late in the night. 🙂
The best thing about a picture is that it never changes even when the people in it do.
Someday somewhere somehow me & you will be together.
Love is not something you say and it happens. It is a feeling that is felt deep in the heart and I feel it for you
Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well.. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.
That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
It’s funny how all trust goes away when you can’t find the remote. “Are you sitting on the remote?” No. “Stand up”.
The awesome moment, when, you upload a status just for one particular person, and that person co-incidently is the first one to LIKE that status..!! 🙂
The Awsome moment.. When u r telling A Joke but can’t finish it Because Your laughng too hard.. Then friend says: Dekh Pehly hans ley ya bol ley 😛
Was going to rob a bank today but the pen was chained to the desk.
Yes, I agree. Mums can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags!
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).
God is really creative, i mean..just look at me.
May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :’).
Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
I’m jealous of my parents, i’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
I don’t want to earn my living, I want to live.
Eight letters, three words, one regret. I miss you.
Also Read – Funny Status
I miss your smile but I miss my own even more.
Behind my smile is everything you’ll never understand.
I still miss him, I miss him, I’m missing him.
The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.
Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.
When I drink alcohol.. Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
Why do parents get so upset about little things like goddamn I left a plate in the sink not a dead body.
I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men’s toilet.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
The funniest thing in class is when the teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching.